In an interview with DuJour, former basketball star Dennis Rodman praised North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un for his alleged success in modernizing the nation.
“He is changing North Korea so much it is really becoming a 24th Century country now,” Rodman gushed. “It’s more like they took down the Flintstone Age and put in the Jetsons. Out with the old, in with the new.”
Rodman, who has made several visits to the isolated communist dictatorship, seemed comically impressed that North Korean citizens speak highly of their absolute ruler.
“It’s like you’d think these people have a spell on them because all the talk about is him. I mean it’s insane. I am so intrigued about how they live their lives through this guy,” he said, evidently unaware that North Korea’s Harry Potter-like magic transforms citizens who don’t enthusiastically worship their government into corpses.
Rodman celebrated North Koreans as hardworking people who “take pride in the simple things in life.”
“I’m not sure anyone there knows how to be lazy. They have a lot of focus,” he marveled.
Asked where he stays when he visits North Korea, Rodman replied that he enjoys rooms in a “nice hotel” that is about 200 years old. “I stay in the Jimmy Carter suite. It’s all marble,” he chirped.
DuJour mentions that Rodman’s latest sojourn in North Korea was sponsored by a “marijuana currency company” called PotCoin.com. One can only imagine the residents of Pyongyang cringing in terror before a baffled Dennis Rodman when he offered to get them stoned or spark them up.
On the off chance that anyone takes Rodman’s whitewashing of inhuman evil seriously, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International have a few thoughts about why North Korean citizens work hard, appreciate the simple things in life, and constantly sing hosannas to their rulers.